Addendum

P.S. I spent all this time using spaces and columns listing the schedule so it would look neat AND be readable......however, blogger just ran it all together. Sorry about that!! I hope you can understand it!

Baby Home Schedule

When we visited little "A" in the Baby Home, his groupa had a schedule posted listing what they did each day. I copied it, in hopes of being able to provide some continuity, that is, provided we survive the "time travel". I will share it with all of you. 7:00 - 8:00 am Awake and dress 8:00 - 8:30 am Breakfast 9:00 - 10:30 am Play and lessons ( We had to wait for "A" to finish his "music class before we met him the first day!) 10:30 - 11:30 am Walk for exercise (in a large upstairs room) 11:30 am Lunch 12:30 - 3:00 pm Day Nap 3:00 - 3:30pm Play 3:30 - 4:00 pm Snack 4:00 -5:00 pm Play, therapy, and walk 5:00 - 6:00 pm Walk 6:30 - 7:00pm Dinner 7:00 - 7:30 pm Play or watch TV ( TV????) 8:00 pm Bedtime until 7:00 am When I asked the caregiver if little "A" slept through the night, or if he awoke at all........did he cry at night or just settle himself back down......etc.. The caregiver told me she only worked the day shift and had no idea what he did at night!! Well, OK then!! I guess I will soon be finding out!!

Rural Countryside of Magadan Oblast

These are some homes outside the city of Magadan. They are small without roads leading up to them. I am not sure how the occupants enter them.....they must have a tunnel they have dug somewhere!!

The Siberian Stroller

Late Post I had problems connecting to the internet the last couple of trys......so this is a late post. The above picture shows a little hand pushed sleigh to use in the snow and ice to transport children. I wish I had gotten a picture of a child getting a ride......it is so cute!! The child is all bundled up in his little fur trimmed coat.....and away they go!! I'll try and get a picture of a child riding. You see the parents pushing the toddlers all around the town. Cool idea, huh?

Fun, Sun, and Sand!!

We have been thoroughly enjoying ourselves here in Puerto Rico!! Unfortunately, the "spray on" sunscreen did not work!! YIKES!! We got a little more sun than planned!! Take my advice .... just use the old fashioned lotion!! I think it works much better!!

Today I had to call my credit card company to approve my expenses. Apparently, a hold was placed on the credit card due to suspected fraudulent activity. It would appear that most "normal" people do not travel to the Caribbean, then 4 days later travel to Siberia!! They thought all of the recent airline ticket purchases within such a short travel timeframe looked suspicious and I was requested to call them!! HA!! I explained the situation, so now we are back in business!! We will travel home tomorrow, and I shall finalize the remainder of the shopping needed for the boys on the return trip home, as well as tie-up all the loose ends before we go!! I had better get that list going to make sure we don't forget anything!!!!

By the way, the picture at the top is a REAL picture, taken by me, and NOT a postcard, even though it is good enough to be taken by a professional photographer!! HEY!! Maybe now that I am finished with this medical degree I could start a new profession as a photographer???? (Just kidding, family!! Smiles!!)!

On Friday it is.....Siberia or Bust!!

Dr. Susan M.D. !!!! WOW!!

YAHOO!! Tonight the Degree of Doctor of Medicine was conferred upon me!! Before my friends, family, and fellow classmates, I took the Oath of Hypocrates and did swear to uphold that high standard as long as I shall practice Medicine! I attended Medical School on the British Island of Antigua, but for the last three years I have been doing my clinical rotations in the United States. I guess a few people forgot to get their passorts (New January 1st law) and that is why our graduation is in Puerto Rico, instead of Antigua (which has 365 different beaches....it is a beautiful island!!) People always ask me "What is it like to go to Medical School in the Caribbean?". I always say "It is a rough life.....but somebody's got to live it!"!! HA!! I am so happy to enjoy this moment, and so relieved to have this degree behind me!! Now it is on to bigger and better things!! This week .......A Doctor!!! Next week.......Mother of two Russian boys!! I really was not kidding about going 105 miles per hour! It is life in the fast lane, and life at it's best!! I am so grateful, and I am so blessed!! Let's get going!!

The Baby Home and Magadan City Housing

Above is the Baby Home in Magadan ( some additional pictures) a.k.a. "Magadan Specialized Children's home, and some housing in the city that is located right next to the baby home. Apparently, the housing in the city is designed more like "flats" or apartments. The housing in the countryside is more like very small, one or two room houses (I will post those later). These apartments pictured above sit right beside the Baby Home. We finalized our travel plans today and we have tickets to travel to Magadan on March 2nd. Some of you know that I had to travel to Puerto Rico on business, a school requirement, which has us somewhat scrambling to get ready for our next trip to Russia. We will only have about 3 days to pack and get organized for the trip. But before we can pack the wool and fur for Siberia, I will need to UNpack the swim suits and sunscreen!! I know you are feeling sorry for me!! We are very much enjoying the beach, sand and warm weather right now. It is so hard to imagine that will experience about a 90 degree temperature change, going from a high of 85 degrees, to dropping to 25 below zero!! I don't care, though. I am so ready to go and bring these boys home!! We can hardly wait!!

More of Siberia

I am preparing myself for more of the cold weather and snow in Siberia, as in about ONE week, we will be traveling on Trip 2 to bring our boys home!! I went shopping a couple of weeks ago to try and find some sweaters and warm clothes to dress them in for the trip home. Of course, (kohn-YESH-nah) once February rolls around, the stores have gotten rid of their warm, winter clothes (for the most part), and start getting in their spring outfits and summer things!! Doesn't anyone know I am traveling to Siberia and I have to dress my boys warmly?? At any rate, I got them both the cutest sets of matching shorts and matching summer shirts!! They will look adorable (here in the States in the fun spring, warm weather)!! But.......I gotta get something warm to bundle them up for the trip home!!

Hold Onto Your Hats, Boys and Girls!!!

COURT DATE!!! Here we go!! We have a court date for March 5th!! There was apparently an original assignment of February 28th, which we tried to see if we could arrange, but we are required to be on an out of town trip at least until February 25th....which made it kind of tight to get to Magadan by the 28th. So now we are to arrive for a March 5th date!! HOORAY!! We are very excited.......not exactly ready..........but whoever is?? We live our life at 90 miles per hour, so I guess it is time to strap on our seat belts, 'cause HERE WE GO!!!!

A Sweet Farewell

We had just finished enjoying a wonderful afternoon with "D". He had really "warmed up" to us and was completely trusting of us dragging him up and down the street, into beauty parlors and coffee shops.....in search of food!! He was very relaxed in the restaurant with us, as well as being sweet and cooperative. After returning to our hotel room we enjoyed more playtime with him. Then we heard a knock at the door. It was Ludmilla, his caregiver and Zoya, our facilitator. They asked him if he had fun, and he said "dah", yes he had. Then they asked him if he would like to come to America to live with us, and for him and his brother to become part of our family. He replied yes (besides, the older man who was the driver of the car bringing him here to meet a potential family wanting to adopt had told "D" "I wish they would adopt me!! I would go with them!!". "D" seemed totally at ease. We gave him a hug and a kiss, and he gave both of us a hug back, and he gave me a kiss, too!! I said to him "Ya LOO blue tib-YAH" ( I love you). "D" said to us " See you in two months" and " I am going to go back to my school and tell all my friends about all the things I saw in town, and about my Papa and Mama and my new family". We hugged again, told him "Pa -kah" (Bye) and he left with his caregiver to return to the boarding school.

I Hope We Can Eat This!!

While we were at the Baby Home earlier that day, our adoption coordinator asked “D” several questions about things that he liked, and she interpreted for us. He told her all about the foods he did and did not like. One of the things he mentioned he disliked was fish (reeba). Nyet reeba!! So as we are looking through the menu at the pictures, “D” sees something that looks like a chicken breast, but it is fish. He points to that and nods his head telling me that is what he would like. I tell him “Etta reeba”(this is fish). He gets an awful look on his face and shakes his head no and says “Nyet”. I am trying to ask him if he likes chicken (I just heard earlier that morning that he did like it. I look up the word for “chicken” in my handy-dandy Russian dictionary with transliterated words……HOLY CANNOLI!! Can any body say “chicken” in Russian?? It has about eleventy-seven letters in it….and I am having a hard time pronouncing it! I mean, I know a lot of long hard words like: pheochromocytoma and vanillylmandelic acid (reminds me of Millie Vanilly- for those of you that remember THAT fiasco) and thiazolidinediones……but I could NOT say “chicken”!! So…. here I am, at the table in the Chinatown restaurant, trying to communicate this to him. I get this idea (some of you remember we brought puppets with us to play with the children) and I pretend I have a puppet on my hand, and I am moving my hand up and down, and saying “BOK !! BOK!!” Now I am using both hands ….and clucking. I guess I am causing quite a stir in the restaurant with my chicken sounds, but he finally gets it and agrees to eating chicken!! I am so glad they did not serve “elephant” because THAT impression is really loud!! HA! The waitress comes and somehow I get the idea across that we would like a dish for the three of us consisting of noodles, chicken, and vegetables. When she hears “vegetable” she says “Oh, dah! Salat?” (Salad). I said nyet, and tried to explain about stir fry vegetables in with the chicken. After some time, she finally nodded her head and left. I looked over at Wayne and told him that we had better brace ourselves, because I am sure she is coming back with “fried eye balls” or something like that!! Alas! The food arrives, and it is really pretty good, to our surprise!! We got something like sweet and sour fried chicken in noodles and vegetables. You should have seen the look on “D”’s face when he looked at the food when it was served. I put some on his plate, he poked it with his fork, wrinkled his nose at it, tried to smell it, took a bite, shrugged his shoulders, and then wolfed it down!! HA!! After we are arrived back at the hotel later that afternoon, he was asked what he had for lunch. He told them he liked what he had very much, but he had no idea what it was!! Our lunchtime with “D” was very pleasant. He was curious about everything. He wanted to try all of the sauces on his food, which I let him, all except the HOT sauce. I did not know how to say “bolshoi spicy”, so I just said “Nyet” with no explanation and he was fine with it. He said his first word in English, too. I held up a fork and said “Vilka”. He looked and me and replied “Dah, Vilka”. Then I said “Fork”. He replied “ffffffffffffffffffffffffork.” “Mal ah dyets” we replied ( what a good boy/child)!! He smiled and seemed pleased with himself. We enjoyed our lunch, and when we were finished, the waitress took away our plates. Then “D” proceeded to start organizing the table, replacing the sauces, salt, pepper, sugar, etc. He then looked over at the waitressing station and saw all the little bamboo placemats all rolled up and stacked. He reached over and took all of the bamboo placemats on our table, and rolled them up exactly as he saw them, and then walked them over and placed them in the stack with the others!! I am thinking….. “Hey, they might want to wipe those down first”, but, I didn’t know how to say it…so we just let him carry on!! He is a very thoughtful boy. It is time to pay and I ask the waitress “Skolka yow dahs-NAH?’ (how much do I owe ?). She brings us the bill, we pay, get our coats and start the journey back to the hotel. When we arrived at the hotel, we played together for about 30 minutes before it was time to leave. We got out the playdough with a shape press, and he had a blast making different shapes and squeezing the playdough. I don’t think he had played with something like that before now. We played cars and colored, and built another lego (well, we tried to, but Papa needs a little more practice). It was almost time to go, and his caregiver would be arriving soon, and they would be traveling back to the boarding school in the Yagodninsky Village in the interior of Siberia. We will soon be saying “Good-bye”.

Something to Drink

After we are seated in the restaurant at a booth and given menus, we decide to get something to drink first. That will be a lot easier, we think, than trying to figure out what food to order for now. Wayne and I request our standard "Coca-Cola Light". For those of you who are diet coke drinkers and who may not have traveled out of the country yet......Diet Coke is called "Coca-Cola Light" in many other countries, including Mexico, and now Russia. After we had ordered our Diet Cokes, I looked over at "D" to ask if he would like to have some milk ( Mal-ah- KOH). He innocently looks at me and says "Nyet, Coca Cola Light. WOW!! Now I am thinking........hey, how do I explain that children should not drink sodas and pop, but should have nutritious things to drink like milk and juice. I look over at Wayne and ask him how do I explain nutritional value to him?? Blah, blah, blah, etc. Then, after a minute, I shrug my shoulders, look at the waitress and tell her "3 Coca Cola lights!! Then the three of us sit there quietly for a while, sipping on our sodas while we decide on the main course.........Part 2 tomorrow.

The Lunch Story Continues

Finally we have arrived at the Chinatown Restaurant. We enter and I ask if we can get something to eat (stone ya boot pah yest?) “Dah” the gentleman replies. I ask does he speak English - guh-vahd-etee pah- ung- GLEE-ski? After all, we ARE in a building with the English word “CHINATOWN” printed on the front!! Unfortunately, he shakes his head “no”. I look at my husband (moi mosh) and tell him “Oh Great!” in a sarcastic tone. The gentleman then holds out his hands and opens a door to a closet. “I think he wants to take our coats” I say. The three of us slowly disrobe from our heavy overcoats, hats and gloves and the gentleman hangs them in the coat closet for us. We then follow him to a table where we are given menus…..in Russian of course!! (Kon-yesh-na!) Wait until you hear about our ordeal of ordering the food!!

Continuing on in Pursuit of Lunch!!

We continued on down the sidewalk in search of a place for lunch. Again, we came upon an open building with lights on inside. It looked like it might be a restaurant. We became hopeful………FOOD!! As we approached the door and entered, I noticed tables. HOORAY, I thought. The man behind the counter looked at us. I said to him questioningly “stone-ye-boot (soft “T” sound….Russians don’t pronounce a hard “t” sound here) we-pit e stone-ye-boot pah yest? (Something to eat and something to drink?) He looked at me and said “Dah, Coffee and Cakes”. I replied to him “Nyet, spy – see- bah”, meaning ‘No thank you’. We turned around and walked back out into the cold. Now, I think “D” is beginning to wonder what we are doing. Are we simply just walking in and out of stores for the fun of it? If so, it has turned out to be not very much fun!! HA!! Now I am beginning to get worried. I see all these words on the buildings, all of them written in Russian, and I cannot find the Restaurant. Now “D” does read Russian, but we don’t know how to ask him to tell us when we come upon the Chinese Restaurant. So….we keep walking down the snowcovered sidewalk in the cold. I am so concerned we will not be able to recognize it, now that we have had two false alarms!! Suddenly, ahead on the left, I see something gold and red. As we take a few steps closer I can see there are some columns ahead next to the front of the next building we are coming toward. My heart gets a little excited……I am thinking “FOOD??? Well, maybe……HOPEFUL we will get food!! Then I see it, 4 gold and red painted oriental columns just on either side of a large black door. “This must be it!!” I exclaimed to Wayne. We had finally arrived, and we were hoping this was the right place. I looked up and above the door was written in large, ENGLISH letters “CHINATOWN”!! Wayne and I looked at one another and burst into laughter!! We worried and fretted we would not recognize the Chinese Restaurant……..and there it was…..as big as life itself…..and of all things……Pa Eng-GLEE-skee (In English)!!!!! I wish I had taken a picture to post, but for sure, I shall get one on the return trip!! HA!! It was very funny!!

BE MINE VALENTINE !!!

I was secretly hoping the information regarding our Court Date would be in my e-mail tonight when I arrived home!! Sadly. there was no updated news, nor was there a date for court!! I now know what it was like for all of you waiting to get your date, feeling anxious, wanting to make travel plans, but no real dates to do so. It is like developing OCD, an obsessive compulsive disorder.......checking e-mail, then checking it again.....and again, but yet there is nothing there. That is the oldest definition of insanity......doing the same thing over and over again, but yet expecting a different result!! Oh well, maybe tomorrow!! HA!! Happy Valentines Day everyone!! Today I want Little "A" and Big "D" to be MY valentine, and I can hardly wait until they will BE MINE!!

Going into town to have lunch (Finally!!)

We left the hotel in search of an open restaurant so that we could feed “D” before his long drive back into the interior of Siberia in Magadan Oblast (Region). The picture shows the sidewalk we walked down in search of food!! We set out on our journey to find the Chinese Restaurant. As we walked down the sidewalk we noticed the third building on the left had the lights on and was an open establishment. “Hooray” I said to Wayne. I was so glad that we did not have to walk far in order to get lunch. We opened the door and entered. To our surprise we saw a chair with a hair dryer attached! We had walked into a beauty parlor!! OOPS!! I grabbed “D’s” hand, and out we went!! He had this really funny look on his face like “You want to get your hair done?? I thought we were having lunch!!" I am sure he was bewildered…..and I am willing to bet that is the beginning of MANY episodes of bewilderment!!

TODAY'S NEWS!!!

WOW!! I knew you guys out there were thinking good thoughts for us and saying prayers for us..........but I did not know you all were THAT good!! We got it!! We got our release letter!! WOOHOO!! Our facilitator in Magadan, Zoya, received the letter today, and e-mailed Olga, who in turn notified us!! I am so amazed!! I am told we will have a COURT DATE by the end of the week!! This is outstanding and we are so excited!! So......since all of you out there who thought good thoughts and said sincere prayers were SO effective......I was wondering......I have this HUGE list of other things I need to pray for and get answers????? Maybe you guys could help me out !!! (Smiles!!)

Back to the Future!!

I am pausing from the continuation of our saga to post a quick update in the hear and now. Up until this point, I have been recanting the story of meeting our two boys in Magadan, Russia. I wanted to deviate tonight from that to give everyone the "status quo" on the adoption. We are currently waiting for our "Release Letter" from Moscow, and as soon as this is done, then we can apply for a Court Date!! The release letter removes the boys from the data base that would allow other foreigners to adopt them. That is one giant step closer to us having our boys!! Of course, (Kon - YESH - na), we still have the possiblity of a Russian family or relatives coming forward before court. I say it is not over until it is over!! We have to trust God for that part. If He wants these boys to come to our family, then He will be the one to accomplish it!! Here is to hoping our Release Letter comes this week!! WooHoo!!

The Hotel

This is a picture of our hotel, the VM Centralnaya, that I took on our way to lunch. OK........so I was a little crooked when I took it....but we were hungry......and it was cold!! My hands were probably shaking!!! The word on the front of the building says "HOTEL". HA!! If you can pronounce Russian, you will see it reads "Gah-STEEN-yitzah" which means 'hotel'. I know, I know (YAZ nigh-0) (rhymes with high) ....it has SO MANY letters in the word to just say -hotel-. But hey, wait until you get your Russian copy of your official letter from the MOE inviting you to meet a child. The letter says : "DEAR (wife and husband)....... like ours said DEAR Susan and Wayne. The word for "dear" has exactly eleven letters in it!! WOW!! I don't know what they are saying exactly with those eleven letters, but surely it has to be more than just "DEAR"!! HA! It just strikes me as funny!! So now we are off on foot in pursuit of a hot meal!! Stay tuned!! OH LOOK!! I just noticed.....on the very TOP of the building next to the roof, it does say in English (pah ungh - GLEE - ski) ...it says HOTEL!! Wow! I guess I read that Russian correctly after all!!

Deciding to go into Town

After we arrived at the Hotel and discovered the Hotel Restaurant was closed, we inquired at the front desk as to what to do. The attendant at the desk told us there were two restaurants open that day in town. One was an establishment serving Russian Cuisine that was somewhere up the hill and to the right. The second restaurant was down the hill and to the left. This establishment served Chinese food. Well, it did not take us long to decide to have the authentic Russian cuisine!! I explained to the clerk behind the desk that my husband ( moy mosh) and I do not speak or read Russian ( I will add I have learned to pronounce Cyrillic, but I still don't know what most of the words mean!!). I told her this boy we were with both spoke Russian fluently, and he also read quite well. With that she proceeded to give him directions to the Russian Restaurant. Wayne and I just sat there patiently while she explained. Now at this point, I should probably tell you a small detail I omitted earlier!! When Ludmila, "D's" boarding school caregiver, was going over his file and records with me ( through an interpreter) she made a very specific point. She stated that "D" seemed to be very disoriented in his environment. He had great difficulty finding his way around by himself and was NOT good at directions. We attributed this to his current environment and constraints of living in an orphanage/boarding school, and the fact that these children are constantly supervised. In fact, "D" made this comment in the car on the way to Magadan: He told Ludmila that he was afraid to come to a big town like Magadan (OK.....BIG all depends on your frame of reference!!). He was saying that he was worried that he might become lost. He said he had already decided what he would do if that happened. "D" said he would walk around in town until he found a Policeman, and he would go up to him to say that he was "lost". We all remarked that demonstrated excellent problem solving ability. So....now back to the story. The clerk gives these elaborate instructions to the place with the Russian food, and then asks "D" if he understands. He looks back at her so innocently and states "Nyet". So then the clerk gets out paper and draws some extensive directions, and then asks the boy if he now understands. She barely gets the question out and he says quickly again "Nyet". OK, she trys one more time.....(you gotta hand it to her with having all that persistence!! This time in the explanation she uses elaborate hand gestures and motions....and she is getting louder too! Once again the boy quickly says "Nyet". This time I step in, remembering what I was told about him. Being oriented to the environment is something he is just not used to!! I now speak to the clerk and ask her which one of these two restaurants is the closest?? (Remember, it is 20 degrees below zero out there and we are walking!!!) YIKES!! The clerk tells us the closest Restaurant is the Chinese establishment. We get some brief directions and decide to brave the elements outside ourselves. So we bundle back up, and off we go into the wild blue yonder to fill our tummies!! Make that the wild WHITE yonder. I'll post pictures later, as well as tell you more about our afternoon!!

Continuing with the Story

We had a good morning at the Baby Home with the boys playing together that morning. It also proved to be very profitable as I learned more of “D’s” background, and came to understand why he was so afraid. This sweet little boy has the desire to have a family mixed with the fear of his past. He was finally beginning to relax a little, and to feel comfortable with us. Soon it was lunchtime. We told little “A” - “ko-shoot” – time to eat. I quickly picked him up, thinking I would carry him back to his groupa for lunch. As soon as I picked him up, he became quite upset and started to cry. Apparently he is not used to being held. The caregivers are so busy, there is no time to hold or rock the children. He wants to walk everywhere he goes, holding onto someone’s hand, and he also wants to feed himself, and does not like any help!! So, we all walked him down to his groupa, and hugged and kissed him goodbye. “D” hugged his brother, said something to him in Russian, and then walked back to the room where we were playing earlier. We picked up the toys and decided we would eat lunch as well. “D” was asked if he wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon with us, or stay with his caregiver. He spoke up bravely and said he would like to spend the rest of the day with us. Wayne and I were both so happy to have some alone time with him. This would be interesting communicating with him without a translator!! Our facilitator took us back to our Hotel, where we were planning to have lunch in the Hotel Restaurant. Zoya let us out, and we went into the hotel……only to find out the Restaurant was closed for the Old New Years Holiday. YIKES!! Now we will need to find somewhere to feed “D” lunch, as he leaves to return to his boarding school in three and one-half hours…..and it will be a six hour drive back to the little village! Well…..I guess we shall venture out into the city….on foot….to feed our boy!! Wait until you hear what happens!!

Magadan Cathedral

Sorry guys.......after a long 13 hour shift at work my brain is bordering on mush!! So I thought I would tell you this is the new Cathedral they are currently building in Magadan. It is actually the only Cathedral in Magadan, and it is Russian Orthodox. Hopefully on our next trip we will have a little more time. I would love to go and check it out, and attend a service. I am sure it would be so interesting. The front of the Cathedral has all copper roofing. I don't have a picture of the front, but I shall have to get one on our next trip and post it. This Cathedral is quite beautiful, and I decided to use it as my personal "logo" for all my posts. Thanks to Elle who so patiently explained to my non-technical mind how to add this pic when I post comments!! I will continue my story with the boys tomorrow........wait until you hear what happened on our afternoon ALONE with "D" !!

The Background Revealed

The boys and Wayne continued to play. He was bouncing a ball with them, and watching them play with some trucks, and airplanes, and was interacting with them. They were responding to him very well, especially considering that initially both boys were afraid of him. Little “A” was afraid because he was not used to seeing any men, and “D” was afraid because of his previous relationship with his father, and being beaten severely. It was good to see both of the boys feel comfortable with Wayne. While Wayne and the boys were playing, Ludmila, “D’s” caregiver from the boarding home, filled me in (through the translator) on his background. Apparently, the biological mother of the boys was very beautiful, and liked to go around with different men. The Father was not really sure he was the biological father of “D”, so when the Father became drunk, he would beat the boy. Once “D” remembered he was watching TV and his Father was drunk, lying on the couch. He called the boy over, beat him severely, and then told him to go back over and finish watching TV. “D” also said that in the middle of the night when he was sound asleep, he would be awakened by violent shaking. His Father would come in the room, grab him during his sleep and shake him for a while, screaming at him. Once, when he was alone with the Father and he was drunk, he began again beating the child unmercifully. The Father was drunk, and looked away for a minute, “D” seized the opportunity to run away…..he was able to grab his coat, but not his shoes….and he ran out of the apartment up the outside stairs (they lived on the lower floor). When the father did not see him outside, he went back into the apartment. “D” quietly came down the stairs and ran out into the snow….barefoot. Now in the interior of Siberia where he lived, it can get down to 80 below Fahrenheit. He ran into the village until he saw a light on. He ran up to the door and knocked, and a kind woman let him in. She put his feet into a pan of warm water for them to thaw. The next morning she called the parents, and the came with toys and took him back home (the Father was not drunk). “D” had to be about 4 years old; I am guessing….between 4 and 5. The Mother became pregnant with little A….and apparently had some severe health problems. She was hospitalized during almost the entire pregnancy and “D” stayed home with his father. The Father did not drink during this entire time while the Mother was in the hospital. I am guessing they were trying to get their act together. Soon after the baby was born, the drinking resumed, and both of them were drunk. Another terrible beating ensued and “D” escaped from the house, and caught a bus. He rode to the house of a lady he knew and she let him in. When she saw the horrible, beaten condition the boy was in, she immediately called the authorities. The authorities came out to her home, saw the boy, and immediately went to the home and took the baby, “A” out of the house, now only 2 months old. “D” never returned to the home. He was sent to the rehabilitation home for 1 year until the parental rights were terminated. He was then sent to the boarding school to begin first grade after his year in the Rehab home (waiting for the parents to be rehabilitated…..however, they were not). During the entire time in the rehab home, “D” did not see his parents (they did not come to visit). He said he got a package once, from the Father, and it contained “some sweets”. At the time of termination of parental rights, the parents can request visitation, if they would like to continue to see the children. The parents did not request visitation with the boys. Little baby “A”, being only 2 months old when he was removed from the home, was taken directly to the hospital where he remained for two more months. He was treated for dehydration and malnutrition. More on his health and condition later...... Two sweet boys with such an unfortunate set of circumstances…….no wonder the older boy was so afraid.

Playtime Together

After picking up the little brother “A” from his groupa, we all walked down a long, dark corridor in the Baby Home to a room where we all could play together. It was a very large room with a few cabinets and shelves stocked with toys, and a piano. There was a long row of children’s chairs, hand-painted and shellacked in the Russian style. They were very beautiful, and there were probably between 40 to 50 chairs in the room. This is where they have their music classes. The room had a carpet on the wooden floor. This carpet was one of those carpets with “roads”, you know, with the printed roads, and houses, and green grass…..only it was HUGE…….about 20X60. There were some other musical instruments in the room, a xylophone, some drums, bongos, and old time accordion!! Wayne and “D” started to try to play that accordion……and I was ready to Polka!! One of the doctors of the Baby Home came in with little “A’s” records, and I asked her a few questions about his health. I got some vague answers, though, that I really was not totally satisfied with. For instance, “A” had been given a diagnosis of hypertension syndrome and encephalopathy (strange, but true). Both of these were neurological diagnoses, and the first one, we don’t even have such a thing for a child in the U.S. (See my link on Russian Medical Diagnosis for more info). Apparently, the Russian Neurologists are so worried that they may exclude a diagnosis, that they prefer blanket coverage!! In other words, it is better to give the child every problem in the book, and then look like a miracle worker when they no longer have it, than to be caught missing a diagnosis!! Sounds a bit like reverse medical malpractice, doesn’t it? Well, this doctor proceeded to tell me that after the baby received treatment with immune system boosters, and massage therapy, and a medication that increased the blood supply to the brain (I have never heard of such treatment, and neither has my Pediatrician or Family Practice Doctor!!) that by the age of 1 year, he was completely cured of the encephalopathy!! Hooray!! It is a Miracle!! I was still not real clear on the cause of the encephalopathy, but whatever the cause, now Little A. was cured!! During my conversation with the Doctor, Wayne and the boys were playing together. Wayne sat down on the floor with them. Little A, who we had been told had no attention span whatsoever, sat next to Wayne for at least 30 minutes, playing different musical instruments, as Wayne showed him how. Big brother “D” was handing little brother new instruments, and new toys, wanting to share everything he had with his little brother. Little “A” played so quietly and was very interested in each instrument or toy. He then got up and began to run around the room, laughing and playing with his big brother beside him. They were having a wonderful time playing together.

Return to the Baby Home

The next morning we arrived at the Baby Home to visit with both of the boys. “D” had slept over at the orphanage for older children which was across town. He and Ludmila, his caregiver from the boarding school, had already arrived. They were standing outside in front of the Baby Home when we drove up. Wayne and I got out of the car and “D” came excitedly toward us, only, he was actually looking for our facilitators’ son, Ivan. Ivan (Ivana as “D” called him) had been our interpreter the first day we had met “D”, and since he was younger (in his early 20”s) “D” seemed to feel an attachment to him. So, when he realized it was Zoya who was with us, and not Ivana, he was a little disappointed. He kind of shrugged his shoulders, and then resigned himself to just spending time with us!! He walked over to us, and gave us both a little hug, even though to me it seemed to be half-hearted. How could it not be??? We all walked inside to see the little brother. We walked upstairs directly to his groupa and waited. We were in the room where the caregivers have their lockers, and hang their coats and shoes. We were waiting for little A. to be ready to join us and for the boys to play together. Suddenly the big brother “D” began speaking Russian quickly and in a very panicked voice. He was getting restless, and moving, and agitated. Wayne and I looked at Ludmila the caregiver with an inquiring look on our face, as if to say “What is wrong?”. Ludmila explained that “D” was saying “Please, please, I don’t want to be left in a shelter…..I don’t want to be left in a shelter”. Apparently, being back in an orphanage setting, (he is now living in a boarding school) brought back some very uncomfortable memories. He was afraid that we were just going to leave him there and now he would be living in a shelter. I told Ludmila, his boarding school caregiver, to tell him that he is not being left here. We are only here to see his brother and to play with him. We are all spending time together and getting to know one another. He seemed relieved at that explanation. “D” had actually seen his brother the day before, for the first time in almost 2 years. He and Ludmila came over for a visit to play with his little brother just prior to coming to meet us. They apparently had a nice time together. Zoya, our facilitator, and Ludmila both asked “D” how he found his brother yesterday (meaning….what condition…or what did you think of your brother). “D” matter-of-factly answered “Normal”. We laughed at his response. HA! How did you find him?? Normal, of course!! Just then, little “A” came toddling through the door, holding the hand of one of the caregivers. “D” smiles at him (we are smiling, too) and runs over and gives his baby brother a little hug. With smiles on all of our faces, we walk down the corridor to get to a large playroom where we can all spend time together, and the boys can play together.

America's Future Artist

Here is the drawing "D" made while we were together. Didn’t he do a great job? That is a butterfly, a dog’s face, an airplane, a cool looking car, and some stacking toys. Of course, the house has a chimney with smoke coming out from it. I asked him to draw a flower (you can see it behind the car). He drew it with great detail. While he was drawing, our facilitator was reading (verbally translating) his school report, and medical and psychological evaluation. I was told that "D" was a well behaved child at the boarding school, a very good boy. He is polite, kind and honest. Even if he has done wrong and did not get caught, he comes forward to say he has done something wrong. He was described as a follower instead of a leader. He never picks a fight and doesn't fight with others. He is doing well in school, and reading after starting only four months ago. "D" was described as "creative", and that his drawings are not typical of other first graders........they are much more detailed. The psychological evaluation stated only that he was not confident in his own abilities and that he needed a lot of praise. It makes good sense that his self-esteem would be low and that he would thrive on praise. I am a big believer in positive reinforcement, and trying to focus on the positive aspects in a person. Hey.....who doesn't like praise?? I am all for that approach!! The medical history was not too bad, considering his past abuse. When he came to the boarding school he initially had a problem with enuresis (bed wetting), but that was now resolved. He also had a problem with iron deficiency anemia that is also now resolved. I am thinking it was probably diet related, as the parents obviously did not provide the proper diet ( or maybe much food at all). He also had cryptorchism from birth that was corrected surgically in January of 2006 (undescended testicle). I also tried to get a good look at his teeth (zoo-bee) to see if there were any huge cavities and things looked OK, but we shall see when he goes to the dentist. He has had one baby tooth pulled, for cavities, and his two permanent teeth in the front are just starting to come in. His current height and weight is on the 15th percentile for 8 year olds ( I brought my own charts!!) Now he appears to be in fairly good health and all we need to do is get him home, fatten him up a little, love him a lot, put his mind at ease, and pray for peace and trust to come to his heart. We'll continue the story of the visit tomorrow.

The Visit Continues

After our successful experience of looking at the books and some reading with “D” we decided to get out some of the things we brought for him (now that he was no longer crying). We gave him a small lego car to build. “D” told us that he loved legos, and he loved to build with them. He also loved to draw and liked to be creative. We told him that we had a son, Remington, who also LOVED legos. In fact, I think we have so many legos, that we could probably build a guest room!! HA! Remmy also loves to draw! He finished building the little car, and then when on to coloring and drawing on some drawing paper. As he was drawing, Ludmila, the caregiver from the boarding school was talking to him in a soft, drawn out voice (it sounded like “Mother-eze”, if you know what that is). She said to him…”In America you can have a family…….and live with your brothers…….and have your own toys………and have a Mama…..and a Papa……and you will get your own box of crayons……and you will not have to share with all of the other children, they will belong to you. We then told him that we had pictures of our home, and of our dogs, and Remmy and Tavia, and would he like to see them? He said “Nyet” (No). Ludmilla said we should give him more time, and we will talk about it again tomorrow. We agreed. Then “D” said that he would like to see a picture of our car, though. Well!! Of course!! I did not have that, however. We got out a color book that had all of these pages that were 1). Find the matching picture, or 2.) Find the picture that is different, or 3). trace through the maze. I purchased this coloring book because I thought these were things we would be able to do together without knowing the language. It worked!! He got them right! He was even faster than I was!! I had to stop and think a minute in order to check his work, to make sure he made the right choice!! He is a very bright child! I was very pleased with his demonstration of prolonged concentration. Up until this time, he had been fearful that Ludmila would leave, and he would be alone with us and the facilitator. He clearly was feeling more at ease with us. We continued to play together on the floor, and Ludmila got up and quietly left……only for about 15 or 20 minutes, but non the less, it was a first step in “D” building trust with us. Ludmila returned shortly, and it was time for them to return to the local orphanage in town. Wayne and I both hugged “D” goodbye and told him “ ah ZAF-tra (until tomorrow).

The Older Boy Comes to Town

We had been told by our adoption agency director that it would be impossible for us to travel to the boarding school of the older boy. There were no hotels or restaurants in that little village, so there would be no place for us to stay during our visit with him. In addition, she stated the drive to that remote area during this time of year could be “just disaster!!”. So we were expecting the boy and his caregiver to arrive in the town of Magadan later that afternoon. Our facilitator in the area called to say that we would be meeting the boy in a large visiting type room in the hotel, and that he and his caregiver, Ludmila, had arrived and were getting settled in at the orphanage in town for older children. We learned from our facilitator, Zoya, that both parents rights were terminated, and the boy had been harshly beaten by his father. She had spoken with the caregiver upon arrival to the city, and Ludmila remarked that “D” had asked her “Do these people beat their children?”. How utterly sad. It was determined that we would all meet at 2:00pm (dva che-SAH). The hour of meeting had arrived, and there was a knock on our hotel door. We had expected to see our facilitator, and were planning to leave our room to go to the larger area so that there would be space and more of an area to play. However, when we opened the door, we found Ludmila and “D”!! Now, they only speak Russian, and we are extremely feeble at communicating in Russian. But, somehow we managed to invite them in, and say it is very nice to meet you, how are you, etc. Neither Ludmila nor we knew where this supposed “visiting area” was, so we just quietly waited for our facilitator to arrive. It was only a few minutes before Zoya’s son arrived, and as we started to leave the room to go to the other area, the boy began to get very apprehensive and said he was afraid….and did not want to leave the room. He was afraid Ludmila was going to leave him alone with these strangers. We all decided maybe the best thing to do would be to stay in our motel room and visit there. We had two chairs, and the end of the bed to sit on, and there was a little room on the floor for playing and moving around. We were talking for a couple of minutes, when suddenly, “D” burst into tears……his caregiver, Ludmila was trying to talk to him, but he began sobbing and was speaking to her in Russian. He was inconsolable!! Ludmila finally related that “D” said when he looked at Wayne and myself, and thought of us as a “Mama” and “Papa”, that he was reminded of the last time he was with family, and he was severely beaten. Ludmila tried her best to settle him down, and he would not quit sobbing!! Finally I thought to myself, “ I must distract him somehow”. I pulled out this really cool book, that you all will find helpful, especially if you are adopting older children. It is called “My First Thousand Words in Russian”. On each page of pictures there is a little hidden duck. I opened the book and yelled “Guh-DEA OOT-ka?” (Where is the duck??). He suddenly became curious….and started looking at the pictures. When he found it, he pointed and said “Voht” (Here is). We went through a lot of the picture pages, where he concentrated intently, and found the duck on each page…..some pages harder than others. When he came to the end of the “duck” pages, there was a page with animals listed on them. He began reading the rest of the book. I then pulled out this storybook that I accidentally bought, that was written entirely in Russian, except for a small English synopsis at the end of the story. He started reading “Puss in Boots”, and quite well, I might add. Ludmila told us that he has only been reading for four months, too! Although he turned 8 years old last November, he is still in the 1st grade. Apparently when the children were taken away from the parents they were placed in a Rehabilitation Home. This is a home where children reside while the parents are being “rehabilitated” and are trying to get their act together, in order to keep custody of their child/children. “D” lived there for one year, and apparently there was no schooling there. When the parents were not rehabilitated, and their rights were terminated, he was sent to the boarding school in April 2006, and was placed in the first grade. He did rather well, but could not learn the entire curriculum by the time school was out at the end of May. So, when school resumed again in the fall, “D” was placed in the 1st grade again. Well, we finally we had to get the “Puss in Boots” story away from him, because he did not want to stop reading!! He was finally more at ease with us!! Continuing Part 2 tomorrow……