FINALLY !!!

Thanks to all of you who have prayed for Dawn and Joe. By way of update, their courtdate is postponed until the 19th...and the decision will be final. So....keep those prayers coming that they will be granted the adoption. The birthmother is only 17 and is 5 months pregnant again, with no job or place to live. She cannot possibly take care of one baby, much less two!! I apologize for my tardiness, but I also thank you all for the support you have shown us. We are so blessed to have our two boys. I got really bummed out last week. I was viewing our pictures of Russia and Moscow on the digital camera, as I was going to take them to the store and print off all the photos....plus Tavia is to give a presentation to all of the 8th grade history classes on Russia.......only the memory card had a "glitch" in it and now NONE of the pictures of Russia come up....(and no, I did not save or download it on my laptop previously!! DUH!!) WOW!! And I am somebody's doctor!! Scarey, huh? OK......so as I am whining and crying about my pictures being gone......I am reminded that we have our little boys at home with us. Many of you wonderful, loving people I have met over these adoption blogs, have lost referrals or had failed adoptions. I realized how lucky I was to have lost the pictures....but to have the boys here in our family. I know so many of you have pain and are trying to heal....because you have the pictures and memories, but not the child. I am so very, very grateful. Suddenly, my loss of some "pictures" in the overall scheme of things, was not so insurmountable!! OK.....so now you all know, I really am PollyAnna. Tomorrow night.......the final installment of our court date!!

Call for Prayer!!

Hello Everyone!! We have had such a busy week! I promise to post tomorrow night. Right now I have an important prayer request!! Please pray for Joe and Dawn who have a court date on the 17th in Kazakstan. They are facing opposition from the birth Mother, who didn't wants her child to be raised in an orphanage rather than live with Americans. Please pray for them!!

Court - The Final Chaper -- Part II

The next person to address the judge was Ludmila, the Director of the Orutukan Boarding School, where Kylen attended school. She told the Judge of our first meeting with Kylen. She told how he was very afraid and frightened. She stated that shortly after coming into the same room with us, he began crying and sobbing uncontrollably. She commented that she was quite surprised at his extreme emotional response. She stated she did not expect this. But, upon questioning Kylen, he stated that seeing us reminded him of the last time he was with his biological Mama and Papa, and that it was very painful for him. Ludmila explained to the Judge how I began to read to him and point to the pictures in the book, to get his mind off of being afraid. She stated that he slowly began to feel more comfortable with us. Then Ludmila began to tell the judge of the abuse that Kylen had endured. She told of when the parents used to get drunk and beat him. She told of the time that he ran away from the father, in the middle of winter, in minus 60 degree temperatures, when he was trying to get away from a beating. Kylen was probably around age 4 to 5. His father was drunk, and when he staggered just a minute, Kylen grabbed his coat, but could not find his boots. He had to flee quickly in order to escape his father’s grasp. He ran out into the snow and his feet sustained horrible frostbite damage. He was treated at a hospital for apparently, sometime. When we petitioned to adopt Kylen, he had to be taken back to the same hospital for a medical examination, required by Russian law. Ludmila stated that about 20 to 30 minutes away, as soon as Kylen realized he was going back to that hospital, he began to get sick, and began throwing up, due to remembering the trauma and stress of his frostbite episode. She then told the Judge that the next day we visited with Kylen, he was very comfortable with us, and told her that he wanted to go live in America with a family and live their with his brother. She told the Judge of the picture album we furnished him with that had pictures of all of our pets, and other children and of our home. Ludmila told the Judge that Kylen had every person and pet in the book memorized, and that he went around the school telling others that this was his Mama and Papa, and told the names of the cat and dogs, and that this was his new home. She stated how he was so happy to have a new home with parents, and that he was happy that he would be living in a home with his brother. Ludmila also stated that he had memorized the names of all of the people and animals in the photo album we had given him. She said he had told all of the children and teachers at the boarding school all about his new family in America and the names of his new dogs and the name of his cat. She told the Judge that she felt very positive about Kylen (Denis) being adopted by us, She also told the Judge that again, no other family had stepped forward to adopt these boys. She again told the Judge that she felt this was a good thing for the boys and that we would be very good parents for them. She stated she based this on the interaction she saw between us and Kylen. She also had observed us in the baby home with both Kylen and Sasha. She stated the way we related to the boys was very good. Then, she looked at me (instead of the Judge) and she told me that she hoped I would try very hard to keep Kylen Denis speaking his native language. She realized that he would need to concentrate on learning English, but she also wanted to preserve his heritage by having him remember about his culture and about his language. I felt the burden of finding a way to keep him reading, writing, and speaking Russian.

Court - The Final Chapter ...Part One

The “Cast of the Court” , as they are called, now give their input. The Judge first began with Svetlana, the representative from the Guardianship Department. The Judge asked her how our first visit went with the children, and what she observed. Svetlana stated that at first Sasha was calm, and sat quietly next to us. She stated that he had a “calm nature” like Wayne had a calm nature ( I don’t know……that is just what she said!!). Then she stated that Sasha then got up from the couch with one of the caregivers and ran and played actively in the living room of the groupa. The representative told the judge that she observed us to be very attentive to Sasha, and that we brought things for him to play with, and little snacks for him to eat. She testified that the child seemed to be comfortable with us and warmed up very nicely to us. She said she observed our meeting together to be very positive and felt that we would be good parents to Sasha. She said she would recommend us to be Sasha’s new parents. She also stated that after all the time that Sasha and his brother had been on the Federal Data Bank, that no Russian families had stepped forward to adopt them, and even though the Guardianship Department had tried very hard to find the children parents, they were unable to find a family to adopt these two boys. She told the Judge that she was in favor of us adopting these boys. The next person to address the Court was the Chief Social Worker for the Baby Home. She stated to the judge how Sasha came to be taken away from his parents, and how he and his brother were placed in a Rehabilitation Home to give the parents an opportunity to be rehabilitated, in order to keep the custody of their children. She told the Judge that when Sasha was only 6 months old, and still in the Rehabilitation Home, that a Russian family saw him, and wanted to adopt him. However, he was not eligible for adoption at that point in time, as the parental rights were not terminated as of yet. The family decided they did not want to wait until he was eligible for adoption. She again stated the point that now that the children are eligible for adoption, and were registered with the data bank, no other families have come forward to express interest in either or both of these two children. The Chief Social worker told the Judge that she felt this was possibly the only chance for Sasha and his brother to be adopted together.

My Second Question

The Judge asked me if I had anything else to add to what my husband had said. I took this opportunity to become the “clean-up hitter”!! I stated again how important family was to us. I told the Judge how much we enjoyed our children now at home, and that we were still very close to them even though they are working jobs or attending college. I also said that keeping Kylen in touch with his Russian heritage was also important to us. I told the Judge that about 2 to 3 hours away from our home was a Russian Center (located in St. Louis). It is actually a museum called the Children’s Worldways Museum. Inside the building is divided into sections for children adopted from Russia, China, Guatamala and South America, Phillipines, and Korea, etc. Each month they hold a special program focusing in on the culture of these countries. It is a fantastic opportunity for the kids to learn all about where they come from. I explained that I planned on utilizing this so that Kylen would continue to learn about Russia. The museum is also managed by a Russian woman. I have met with this woman previously, and she has stated she would help us with our son, and also help him retain his native Russian language. I again emphasized all the positive resources available to us to use with Kylen, and how we were so looking forward to being able to utilize these resources to help him continue with his language skills

My Turn in Court

Wayne had just explained why we wanted to adopt more children, and how he would handle boys differently than girls, since he had two biological children that were girls. He was also asked what type of special tutoring we would provide for Kylen to help him learn English, and get him ready to attend school in America. Then it was my turn. I really was only asked a couple of questions. The Judge asked me why didn't we adopt children from America? I replied there were two reasons why. First, I stated I had five biological children of my own, and generally, young children in the U. S. were given to families that have no children of their own, and therefore, I would not have been chosen. Secondly, in the U. S. it is very difficult to get the parental rights terminated, in the case of caring for foster children that the family is trying to adopt. In many cases, the child will live with you for 2 or even 3 years and then be taken away to give the parents another chance. I told the Judge that being a very close family was important to me. Having a child join our family, and then be ripped away from us after we are all bonded together, is something I could never do to my children, and something I would not be able to endure. In Russia, the parents rights have already been terminated, and if we were granted permission to adopt these two brothers, they would become part of Our Forever Family.

One Child or Two?

I almost wanted to call this blog...."One Lump or Two?" HA!! In our weekly adoption chat online we have through our agency, the discussion came up to adopt one child at a time or to adopt two? My personal opinion is this.....if you are wanting more than one child, then I would definitely go for two children at the same time. Yes, it is a bit harder at first, but besides being more financially economical, it is really, in the long run......A LOT EASIER than having another homestudy by some confused social worker...... redoing all the endless paperwork with notarizing and apostilling.....taking time off (from work, make arrangements for someone to take care of the rest of your family, find someone to feed your dogs and water the plants....etc.) for two separate plane trips to parts unknown (truly where angels fear to tread) and the general hassel and stress of it all, it is easier to bite the bullet and bring home the two kids, than to go back and do it all over again. Well......that is my vote at least. It was right for our family and our situation. Only you can decide what is right for yours.

"Tell Me, Please"

The Judge began her interrogation. She began every sentence with "Ska-ZHIT-tee Pah-ZHA-owl-stah.........which means ....."Tell me, Please". Poor Wayne......he kept answering questions and again she would start with the "tell me, please"!! She wanted to know from Wayne how he would handle boys, since he had only girls biologically. The Judge told him that girls are very different from boys.....and how would he handle this. Wayne stated he had a very calm nature, and felt that calmness would help handle any problem or situation he would encounter with the boys. Again she says....."Tell me, please....." "Why do you want to adopt from Russia?" Why Russia? Wayne stated he has always been fascinated with the Russian Culture, and interested in Russia. He told her that since we have been married we have wanted to add children to our family, and felt this would be a good time to do so. This was our desire, to have more children. She then said "Tell me, please" ....."How do the other biological children feel about bringing these children into the family?" We told her they were very supportive. Although, we had called her earlier that morning to see if our children in Magadan (Tavia and Remmy) could attend court with us. The Judge said absolutely not.....she did not allow children in the Court Room.....but then, that was one of the biggest things she wanted elaboration on......."How did the children feel about adopting these boys?" Now....of course, she could have asked them in person, but she didn't allow them to come to the Court. Ahh....another mixed message!!

Continuing On with the Court Story

Before Court started that morning, Wayne and I had already discussed it and had decided that I should be the one to answer and field most of the questions, as I felt the best prepared for our Court appointment. However, apparently the Judge did not want to hear from me……she directed all the questions to Wayne!! So much for our plan!! After our initial introductions, the Judge asked Wayne what was his impression of the boys. After she heard his answer, she directed a question to me that was “How did you find the children?”. To this question…..I was a bit confused. Surely the Judge knows that families that are adopting can only be referred a child from the MOE…..and surely she knows that our agency, Alaska International Adoptions, is the only agency that has been working in Magadan since the whole reaccreditation deal!!! ???? !!! I mean……I just stood there (you must stand whenever the Judge addresses you). So there I am, standing there…..all of this running through my mind, and I know she cannot be asking me any of these questions……because the answers are so obvious ( and Zoya is right there translating for me!!)!! Finally, I clarify, and say…”Do you mean how did we find the children when we met them?” “Yes”, the Judge replied. Well, that is not what I thought she meant!! I briefly told her about our encounter with the children, and how initially Kylen was afraid and cried, but that he really “warmed up” to us by the second day. Our visit with Sasha went very well, too. I told the Judge that he seemed happy and appeared to be comfortable with us. I told her both the children were very well cared for. The Judge brought up the fact that we both had biological children of our own, and she wanted to know why we wanted to adopt. We explained that we love our children and enjoy them so much. We told her we had a happy family and we wanted to continue to expand our family and share that love with more children. With that explanation, she turned to the page in our homestudy that explained why we wanted to adopt…..and read it word for word ( I guess to see if it matched????) !! Luckily for us, it said the same thing we had just recited in Court!!