Life is What Happens While We are Making Plans!!

WOW!! Is life ever busy!! Between three children in three different schools, one baby still at home. a football player, a cheerleader (cheering for the football games...now for the basketball games...all 112 of them including the 9th grade, the JV and the Varsity), wrestling season (ugh! I hate it when they squeeze, smash, and get sweat all over my son!!), drama club and the two performances so far (Charlotte's Web and the Christmas Pageant), band concerts, band competition and travel performances, soccer season for Kylen (which, by the way....they call "foot ball in Russia),church activities, Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts, and....HOMEWORK!!....working for me (oh, and by the way I took a second job temporarily.....mainly because I was "temporarily insane", and shopping for food, and cooking, etc.etc.etc......OH! Did I forget to mention "cleaning the house"?? Well, that must be because it has NOT been done in a while!! HA!! Oh, I know....I have a day off from work tomorrow....THAT is what I can do in my spare time! I have had so many aspirations for this blog....and all of them have seem to have gone by the wayside......and lost in the flurry and hustle and bustle of everyday lifes schedule. I am hoping to make a resolution to blog because I really want to make a contribution that matters, and provide help for those who are seeking answers, and I know some of you are just plain curious as to how we are all doing. I am thinking now maybe I should just blog to save my own sanity!! Somewhere out there in the world, I have some interested readers.....or I wouldn't have over 10,000 readers looking at my blog!! So...as my Mother would say...."Come on Susan, Get it together!!"

Kitties, and Turtles, and Strawberries......OH MY!!

Ok...I guess I need a little help in the organization department, because after writing all these nice notes on bonding and attachment, and setting them aside for a time when I could post them......I CAN'T FIND THEM!! So...I keep waiting and hoping they will turn up, and then I will discuss the topic.....but, tonight I said to myself "What if I never find the list, and I don't blog again for months??" So, I decided to throw in the towel and write on some other happenings, and as sure as I start to ignore my obsession (trying to locate the lost list)....I will find it!! Right?? Well, that is my new theory and I am sticking to it!! Yesterday when Sasha and I were leaving the house, there was a little box turtle on the cement walkway! This turtle was soon joined by the little kitty that adopted our family this past summer. (There was this kitten that showed up in the garage when we were keeping the puppies there in a little fenced enclosure in the garage). Oh, did I forget to say that in May we had 4 puppies that we sold (finally!!) and so this little kitty would sneak into the garage and curl up with the puppies and sleep with them. It was a wild kitty someone abandoned, but finally now after a couple of months it is finally warming up to us. So back to the turtle.....after waiting 10 minutes for him to pop out of his shell (He clamped down hard when Sasha picked him up and started waving him wildly in the air!!), we decided to get a plastic container and keep him (just for a few days) and then release him again. Sasha was so excited to have the turtle in the container! We gave the turtle a strawberry to eat, and Sasha was thrilled to see this little creature take bites out of the berry. What cute giggling sounds he made! It was such a refreshing sight to see a little boy have this new and fresh experience!

ONLINE AGAIN!!

Whew!! I am so relieved to be back up and running again (in the abstract sense, of course)! I has some problems with blogger, and was unable to sign in to my account. After much toil and testing of my patience, I figured out the problem. Sorry about the delay.....so the next post will begin discussing our successful strategies for bonding and attachment. There are some differences for the different ages, as one might suspect. I hope you will find these useful, and find success as well for your bonding experience.

MY TOP TEN BONDING AND ATTACHMENT STRATEGIES

During my "mission" to adopt, and during my information gathering stage on adoption, I read a lot of literature. This literature was not only from authorities on bonding, including developmental psychologists and their various theories, but also personal stories of other adoptive parents. Some of these stories did not have the happiest of endings, as some of these became disrupted adoptions (children returned.....or sent to another home). Some of these stories with unhappy endings do not progress to disruption, but the bonding didn't occur, and the children did not become attached to the parent/parents. I was very worried about this. Of course, I had my experience with my five biological children, which I am sure, gave me a little insight. However, this situation would be different. In addition to me being a perfect stranger to my newly adopted children, these new children had special needs. They were abused, abandoned, and an inate "self-preservation" mode had taken over. How could I get these children to trust again? This was my quest !! I am so happy to announce that both of my boys are totally attached to me. Little Alexander is "Mama's Baby", and Kylen constantly asks me when are my next days off from work, so I am home with him after school!! They run to me and squeeze me so hard when they see me! I am so happy that we have bonded and attached in this special way! So, I have decided to share my information and strategies with you, in hopes that some of these things may be successful for you as well. I am currently working on the two lists, with some differences, of the top ten strategies for bonding with a toddler, and with an older child. I will share the toddler list first, with the next posting. Oh, and P.S. Today is my BIRTHDAY!! What a wonderful present I have this year.....two sweet, adorable boys that both love to be around me, and love their new home in America!! We are blessed!!

FINALLY PLAYING TOGETHER !!

What fun the boys are having!! When we first came home, they did not know how to play with each other! Kylen had not lived with his baby brother since the baby was 2 months old. He had been placed in an Orphanage boarding school for children age 6 to age 18. He knew how to play with older children, but not a baby or a toddler. Unless one has "grown up" with a baby or toddler in the family, one does not know how to interact with them, nor how to play. The same for Alexander. He was only used to the small toddlers in his groupa. The first week we had them home, they were like two children in the same room, but there was no interaction between them, nor was there really any interest. Not only were these brothers at different ages developmentally, but they were essentially "strangers" to one another!! They did not even know each other! Through the summer they have slowly progressed. Now they play together, and Kylen very often takes Alexander's hand and holds it in his own. These boys are so cute together, and they are finally having the brotherly companionship that was taken from them over two years ago!! What a joy to see them playing so happily together!!

MY TWO SUPERBOYS !!

I am not sure if Kylen and Alexander really know who Superman is.....but they have certainly had fun wearing these P.J.'s and flying around the house with their capes flowing in the wind behind them!! They feel empowered and invincible!! They have a sense of belonging!! That is what families do for you!!

LIFE IS WHAT HAPPENS WHILE WE ARE MAKING PLANS !!

Wow! What a fast and busy summer!! We have been enjoying the boys everyday and they are both doing so well!! I have had so many ideas about successes and failures that I have wanted to share with you concerning our adventures in bonding and attaching with the boys. I have vowed to post two blogs per week on Thursdays and on Sundays sharing helpful hints and suggestions that worked well for our situation. We truly are blessed to have these two beautiful boys, and have certainly had our share of "two steps forward, and one step back". I must say, however, even at the most difficult of times, the journey has been incredibly rewarding, and SOOOOOOOO worth it!! I hope you will continue to share this entertaining and exciting journey with us as we continue bonding with our new children!! Stay tuned for more!!