MY TOP TEN BONDING AND ATTACHMENT STRATEGIES

During my "mission" to adopt, and during my information gathering stage on adoption, I read a lot of literature. This literature was not only from authorities on bonding, including developmental psychologists and their various theories, but also personal stories of other adoptive parents. Some of these stories did not have the happiest of endings, as some of these became disrupted adoptions (children returned.....or sent to another home). Some of these stories with unhappy endings do not progress to disruption, but the bonding didn't occur, and the children did not become attached to the parent/parents. I was very worried about this. Of course, I had my experience with my five biological children, which I am sure, gave me a little insight. However, this situation would be different. In addition to me being a perfect stranger to my newly adopted children, these new children had special needs. They were abused, abandoned, and an inate "self-preservation" mode had taken over. How could I get these children to trust again? This was my quest !! I am so happy to announce that both of my boys are totally attached to me. Little Alexander is "Mama's Baby", and Kylen constantly asks me when are my next days off from work, so I am home with him after school!! They run to me and squeeze me so hard when they see me! I am so happy that we have bonded and attached in this special way! So, I have decided to share my information and strategies with you, in hopes that some of these things may be successful for you as well. I am currently working on the two lists, with some differences, of the top ten strategies for bonding with a toddler, and with an older child. I will share the toddler list first, with the next posting. Oh, and P.S. Today is my BIRTHDAY!! What a wonderful present I have this year.....two sweet, adorable boys that both love to be around me, and love their new home in America!! We are blessed!!