America Here We Come!!!

This afternoon we begin our journey home. Spending time in another country, especially Russia, has made me realize how truly blessed we are to be Americans. I mean, of course I know this, but head knowledge and first hand experience are two different things. I am so grateful for the freedoms we have. We truly are a “land of plenty”. If only more people realized it. It is no secret (for those of you who know me personally…..and even those of you who do not) that I have whined about living in Missouri (remember….I call it “Misery”). A certain set of circumstances placed me here…..and now I am “stuck” here for a while. This second trip made me realize there are a lot of WORSE places to be “stuck” in….so hey Missouri…..I apologize. We have a wonderful home with lots of room for all of our combined children ( now NINE!!), and a huge yard, complete with fleas and ticks in the summer ….yes…..during the summer everynight is “tick check”…..gross!! When I first started pulling ticks out of creases and curves on my children’s body’s, it bothered me…….but now it is just like brushing your teeth before bed ( and if you DON’T do it…..you WILL be sorry!!). It will be so nice to be home again!! There are some things the Russians do better than Americans, though. There have been some who have criticized us for adopting internationally. They have wanted to know why we did not adopt here in the U.S. The main reason is because it is so hard to terminate the parental rights…..no matter what abuse may have occurred. Many times a child is placed into foster care for up to 3 years and then returned again to a dysfunctional or abuse family, all the while to endure more abuse. Meanwhile, the family that wanted to adopt the child is totally disrupted. I could not allow my other sweet children to become attached and bonded to a sibling, only to have them ripped apart from our family. So in that sense, the Russians have a great way of thinking. If they find abuse, the Guardianship Department steps in RIGHT AWAY and removes the child/children from the home and places them into a Rehabilitation Home. They give the parents one year to be rehabilitated……if after that year the parents have not done what is required, a court hearing is held, and the parental rights are terminated. The second thing I think the Russians do better than we do, is make the parents pay child support. Under Russian law, if your parental rights were terminated, this does NOT release you from your obligation to financially support your child!! If you have one child, there is an automatic deduction of ¼ of your salary garnished automatically, and it increases with each child. Alexander and Kylen’s biological parents were ordered to pay support at one third of their income every month. It was automatically deducted into a savings account for them. After court, I was presented with two savings accounts (one in each of their names) that had 500 rubles each in them (saved during a 2 year period). Granted, it is not a lot, but it is accumulated and given to them when they reach age 18 and would leave the orphanage, so that they would have some amount of money to get them started on their own. The last deposit in the accounts was made on February 19, 2007. It blows my mind to think that these parents had money deducted every month from their paychecks to support their children (I guess because it is the law), and never once came to visit them. Under Russian law, when parental rights are severed, one may still request visitations rights if one would like to have them. The parents did not request any visitation rights. It makes me feel sad….but then again, if things had not worked out this way, then Alexander and Kylen would not be on their way to America, and they would not have this new, great life that they are about to have. So….everything worked out for the best, although I am sure they both endured quite a bit of suffering to get to this point. As my Mom always says “All’s Well That Ends Well!!”. By the way…..we donated the amount in both savings accounts to the Baby Home and to the Boarding School.