Court Update

For those of you who are interested, or who care.....about a year ago I posted an update on a custody situation we currently had in the American Courts over my two teenagers (who are now currently 15 and 16 - who are "way old enough" to decide where they want to live), but "some people" do not listen, nor do they see what is best for the child. At any rate, our court date was post-poned to last April 14th, 2009...with a recent update last July 6, 2009....and although I was given full custody (verbal)of the teenage children....we still have not seen the signed decree!! What custody case could take almost 3 years?? I mean, really, at age 15 and 16...it is really a "moot point" don't you think? This is why I dislike the American Court system so much, besides the point that both of my ex-husbands were awarded custody and I had to pay the child support....because I was an educated woman and earned a good living!! I am sure the Judicial system has made some good decisions for someone somewhere, but not for me!! It was only until my children did poorly with their fathers that the tables were turned!! This is why I refused to adopt from within the United States, because I knew as soon as we bonded and made a foster child a family member, the court system would turn around and take them from a loving family only to be returned to an abusive one. I just could not do that to my own children. So...we decided to look for children who already did not have parents. We started out to adopt one child, and we found brothers that were 6 years apart in age (2 and 8 years). I worried something would go wrong in Russia when we had court, because I have heard horror stories of other families where their adoption did not go through, and I have been so unlucky in legal matters (My Mother always told me Saturn was not my friend....or something like that). Happily, all went well in Russia, and I hope the odds will come around and all well go well here in the States. I will keep those of you who care to know informed when I have the signed formal papers. I hope it is soon. How much can teenagers endure?? Apparently....a lot!!

More on Motherhood

Yes, being a Mother is an amazing experience!! However, with the joys also comes the heartaches!! Sometimes I wish I could take away the trials and pain that come into the lives of my children. Sometimes life is hard.....and very, very harsh. No one knows this better than my own children. My older children have suffered through divorce and physical separation. My younger children have suffered through abandonment and physical pain. Both sets have experienced emotional pain. At times I wish I could make all their choices for them, so they would make good decisions. But choice and accountability are important lessons to learn. Pain and experience comes from making poor choices, and experience comes from making good choices. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do as a Mother is to sit back, and let my children make choices. They have learned there are consequences to their actions. This has been an invaluable lesson.....and a hard one for me as well.

The Joy of Motherhood

I often think what a wonderful privilege it is to be a Mom. Yes, it is a lot of work, but the rewards are amazing. I love seeing my children grow. I love seeing them happy. Sasha is now 4 years old and Kylen is 10. Overall, they are both very well-adjusted children. We are so blessed to have them. I have been working quite a few night shifts at the hospital, so I have either been sleeping in the morning when my husband takes Sasha to daycare, or I have not been home. Of course, I have been spending time with him in the afternoons and early evenings, but I have not been home the last several mornings. Yesterday I was home in the morning, and he woke up and ran into my room. He heard me puttering around in our bathroom, which adjoins the bedroom. As soon as he saw it was me, he flung his arms open wide and ran right into my legs, squeezing me so tightly!! He had the biggest smile on his face!! It was so rewarding to see the brightness in his eyes!! I remember when we first brought him home from Russia. He had such a dull look in his eyes. There was no life and excitement there. That is the difference that love and bonding makes. Everyone needs a sense of love and belonging. It is essential to the progression of maturity and development. Without love and belonging......there is only existing. What a privilege and pleasure it is to have these boys belong to me....and to give them the love that only a Mother can give!!

Back to School !!

Kylen started the 3rd grade this year. He has a wonderful teacher and is making some progress in reading. Sasha (Alexander) moved up to preschool two days a week. I have been thinking of putting him in an extra day or two, for the mornings only. He is so behind developmentally. This November he will turn 4 years old, but developmentally he is between 19 and 22 months old. He is very behind on language and has only now started to talk. Yesterday we were sharing a plum and he gave me a bite. Well, I must have touched his finger with my teeth, and he thought I was biting him, and he said "Say 'Sorry Sasha!!' "!! I guess I am always saying to him when he is too rough or acting out "Say you are sorry, Sasha". HA!! At any rate, I have struggled with trying to decide if he should have more classtime or more "mommytime". Our bonding and attachment has gone very well with Sasha ( and we still have a long way to go with Kylen....more on that later). However for now, I have decided that Sasha will benefit most from "mommytime". He already has some days that he must spend away from me because I work. I really feel he will benefit most from more love, nurturing and closeness to Mom. Time will tell.

Summer Revisited

Why is it the summer goes by so quickly? We had such a fun and wonderful summer. We took 3 trips to the beach. Sasha LOVED the ocean, waves and the sand. Kylen had learned about palm trees and coconut trees when he was in school at Magadan. He was so excited to see them in person!! Kylen was the best sand crab catcher EVER!! He even caught little sand crabs for the other little kids that weren't fast enough to catch them!! He has become a great little swimmer, too!! He is greatly improved from the second month of coming home from Russia and when we went to the waterpark near my Mom's house! We had only been home from Russia two months, and Kylen wasn't speaking English yet, but somehow I let him convince me that he could swim. So, I gave him permission to go down this big slide into what I call "the toilet bowl" with Tavia and Remmy. Well, it is this huge slide that at the bottom, you swirl around and around (like when the toilet flushes) and then you land in the water. As soon as Kylen hit the water the lifeguard blew the whistle and the they jumped in to pull him out. I raised my hand and said... "Yes, I am the stupid parent that let him slide down!" He wasn't afraid, and within a few weeks he was swimming like a fish!! Now he tubes behind our boat like a Mad Man!! But I look back on those early days and some of the crazy things that happened make us laugh!!

Fantastic Summer !!

We have enjoyed such a fun summer!! Having a Court Date last May that involved my two older children and my ex finished and behind us was a HUGE relief. This has been pending for almost two years, and again there was another successful postponement on the part of my ex until the end of September......but we are almost there and positive things are happening for our side. More on that later.....but needless to say it has been a HUGE stressor for all of the children, as well as my husband and myself to be going through such a tremendous ordeal. We are so happy to see the light at the end of the tunnel!! Kylen and Alexander (Sasha) are such a tremendous blessing to us!! They are happy boys and are doing so well!! We still have some issues we are dealing with.....and I hope to talk about some of these issues in order to help some of you with your challenges. I have just been so "zapped" dealing with all this legal stuff, that I didn't seem to have much reserve left to discuss other aspects of my life. It really has been all-consuming. I am so happy it is almost over....and will be even happier for a positive outcome!! Think positive thoughts for us and say a few prayers, please!! I am learning more about bonding as we go along and this is also something I want to share in future posts!! I have new pictures coming too!! I am glad to be back with all my blogger friends!! I have missed you all!!

WOW !! THE ONE YEAR POST-PLACEMENT REPORT !!

Wow!! How time flys!! Today Sasha and I drove 6 hours (to and fro) to "The Big City" to get our one year post-placement reports apostilled and off to FedEx to our adoption agency to submit to Russia!! One year ago today we were frantically packing and getting ready to depart to pick up our children in Russia!! It all seems so surreal now that they are so integrated into our family!! Honestly, I cannot even picture our lives without them being here!! WOW!! Are we ever lucky!!